been so long since my last blog...
just uploaded some picture's in my facebook private friend page...
its so hard sometimes to upload on 2 site...
i think next time i will upload here so both party can see!

okok, here are the pictures.
P.S forgive me im so drop dead tired yesterday and my iphone only have 1 photo which is not blur.... others is like BLUR KAO KAO...

from my digital cam there is only 2 picture  =_=
quickly snap and took my make up off...
until now , my hair lol.... is still in a BUN!
lazy to wash ..mayb later i'll go to saloon.....but late afternoon there is this sweet m.u.a/nail artist/ model
im gonna meet ;).. i'll post tomorrow the pictures if i can haha


**the last photo is from my iphone ;)

*** all the photo's are without fake eyelashes, cause when we leave for home we need to return the eyelash ;) but the last iphone photo is with eyelashes LOL


and while waiting yesterday the food come in so late... what they think models dont need to eat ah?
at last we models ate more then everybody lol.. whole table also is food... talk and eat LOL

hello there ;D
yesterday i've just had like 2 hour session on BLOGTV
and im so so so glad and happy cause my webcam is back.
Well sorry for not updating always,

Im so pissed of yesterday by a hair product supplier.
The first day ,which was like 2 weeks ago-
we appoint to meet at 6p.m
i reached at 5.30p.m- yes im seldom late.
Then i waited till 6.30p.m and my make up artist decided to call him.
and he said he's only on his way =_=
gosh nevermind, i think i'll just wait.
they reached at 7p.m almost
im really pissed off already-
there goes the discussion for the wages and pay. After fully satisfy with sponsorship of product.
He again appoint me yesterday at 9p.m late night cause the hairdresser just came back from penang for a hair seminar.

P.S the hairstylist have 20 years + of experience , he's from taiwan and learn in japan...bla bla bla

i was really anxious to meet him, cause we have to discuss the look im going to wear ;)
I just know briefly that my hair will but cut and curl.
Did i mention before than im a very fussy when it comes to my hair?
And then, my mom wanted to go early to like window shopping the shops around his saloon.
So we went there at 6p.m
Too bad everyone is praying for the ghost month festival and hardly u can see shops open ...
So, we ended up in a cafe at 7p.m
we both have cakes and coffee.
Then when its 8.30p.m i called , the organizer said they will come right after his hotel check-in
Then i say well, ok...... and then time passed,
it was 9.20p.m my mom was so pissed and ask me to return home,
i didnt want to ffk (fong-fei-kei)- a Cantonese slang for not turning up.
cause is bad for my reputation and so on....
i waited till 9.30p.m and i called,
NOW the organizer says that the hairstylist wanted to have dinner.
I was so fired up already, and i say " You should call me and say what, What time is it already?"
and the organizer said "hmm, i think i cant make it cause is really late already - we'll just meet u tomorrow straight before the perming and stuff....."

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I said " ok fine, im gonna tell u sweet and short, my whole working experience i never waited for organizer, and i never ffk, and i never been late before- im good enough to tell you that im not working tomorrow, so u can find a model to replace me tonight"

and he said " no u misunderstood already...... pls reconsider"

i was like "no, thanks and sorry"

so is it my fault?
i dont think so,
I think im pretty good at not throwing temper to him, cause im so pissed off.
Everyone would  be pissed off.

P.S the road is so dark and the saloon is close, luckily there is a cafe beside it but close at 9.30p.m and luckily i ask my mom to accompany me.

i wonder if i didnt call! he'll kept me waiting in the dark street until 10 p.m or maybe 11p.m!
grrr.....


ahhh the picture, shows everything
i wanna say i wanna express, what i see, what i feel ,
have you ever know a person long enough that you'll share anything and treated her/him like yourself?
i know i do.

i was never picked ;
no matter how hard i try , no matter how good i was.
i was never perfect as she/he appears to be.

the one always...

get what i wanted the most,
got picked on every great thing we both hope for,
got the best brains,
got the best looks,
got the perfect guy,
got the perfect job,
got everything perfect,
except the fact that i dont get everything i wanted.

Thats everything a girl would wish for,

My friends say the one is  ;

good,
pretty,
kind,
bright,

and im the one who is ;

bad,
wicked,
ugly,
stupid.

This is so unfair, and i tried and i tried and i tried and i breakdown sometimes,
tired of trying,
bored of trying,
tired of being who i am .

Not to say im not satisfy of what i have,
but i just wanted to feel special once in a lifetime.
That the one got it all the time

Because of this,
i made myself to be a perfectionist.
had become a

neurotic perfectionists 


people who are "unable to feel satisfaction because in their own eyes they never seem to do things [well] enough to warrant that feeling of satisfaction".


"people who strain compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals and who measure their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment".


my 


friends, 
family, 
everyone.


agrees that the one is always the best choice over me.
I hate this feeling, and i dont wanna to have this hindrance anymore.


I never get what i wanted, 
never achieve what i wanted, 
because the one is always there with me


everywhere i go 
everything that i do.


P.S sometimes i just dont understand that we have so much in common or the one just want to do everything i do , and to prove that she/he is better. Is it even possible that we have EVERYTHING in common. Is just like the one have some psychic power to read my mind.




and i hate having the one's dirty little black book and pouring dark little secret, when everyone thought that the one is just perfect

i couldnt reveal them, cause nobody trusted me but the one.


TC, 
xoxo.





wahh.. so long to upload a picture..



Good MORNING!
haha, yesterday otw to KL, i got a gotcha call!!!!
im not mentioning about it but it does make me feel paranoid.
;P - like REAL PARANOID haha

here's my mom. HWAT RIGHT!
<3 i love you mummy!
BTW i dont know why the picture turn out so reddish.

so back to the story we went up to kl, then we went to MCA then we come back "empty handed"
ahhh, correction wasnt on the way to KL but on the way to seremban (Dr Alison hometown!)
haha so sorry that i have to call her all the time,

"where is the KTM ah?"
"where i can get nice chinese food ah?"

lols- sorry!
its hard to be my friend huh? haha. Hmm....
We board the ktm to KL sentral and park our car inside the KTM centre.
after all those happy thing happened. we came back to seremban and settle ourself in one of the restaurant/cafe there.
Yee Kee Beef Noodles.
we ate Mc donal in the KL central and I ate Mcdonal yesterday.
WOW right? i know i know... sigh....
so i dont want beef anymore!
too bad, everywhere in seremban have on similarity when we walk to the cafe ; which is the *close* sign
grrrrr.. we have to eat beef AGAIN!


nomnomnom,
hey you guys,
have a great day ok?
with love-

P.S im having problem with my webcam ( couldnt start up ) , how slow my computer start up ( wondering isit the frostwire ), and my stupid modem from belkin ( which my wifi keep dead. )

help me if you can pls, thanks.

Went out today again, it has been like 4 days a row.
visiting  mp, dp , jusco, mbo, tesco, giant, every possible places!


im so happy-
really really delighted.
Well, past few weeks, i went up to Kuala Lumpur-
to have my selection exam and classes.
TBH, malaysian syllabus is nothing to be compared.
Children at "-" stop using calculator as early as secondary one.
we should be ashamed of ourself, needing the help of a calculator up to form 6 and university or maybe PHD?
hmm, first day of class was great,- meet two new friends and now their like my bestie!
*blushes* later they say i -perasan- ownself make them as my bestie haha.
Dr Alison, and Dr Iswaran.
i made alot friends there but they are nothing to be compared.
I sat with Alison during the whole class conducted for day one.
And i invited Iswaran to "squeeze in" between us on day two till the last day
Haha...
Alison is a very cheerful and smart girl, we discuss everything.. eh wait a minute i think i asked  her everything and we discuss - correcting each other. Ok, maybe she taught me more hahaha.
Iswaran is more like a SUPER GENIUS in class...
and SUPER HELPFUL haha,
he gave me and alison lesson  and solve our doubt in every question. Mayb most of the question haha
bought me milk and food !
Thank you!

Aghhh... i really thought the class will be dull and boring.
but it was the opposite.
We got like the coolest teacher on earth!
Let me start...

Miss Alice for Math


"Hilang konsentrasi akibat minum jus manggah di Malaysia yg besar bangat"
"Do you guys want to watch a short clip during lesson?"

and we watch kungfu panda.
We talked about Pirates of the Caribbean, Kung fu Panda 2, Super 8 and many more..."
Cool right, i thought most math teacher are like this

"Have you done the question? Lets discuss..."

Pssst especially malaysian teachers haha.
Miss Alice brain is like SUPER CALCULATOR, 
inverse trigo, anything you may think of -she can solve it in just what.... 3 sec? ...

when the first day she say " you guys must solve surd 789 in like 5 sec"

we look at her blankly, or mayb im the only one haha.*gaps in air*
and she gave us extra extra class on the last day

"pusing eh?"



next, is Miss Nenden.


She is the cutest teacher on earth! haha ....
She is our chemistry teacher,
often give me advices since im the only one stressed out all the time,
solve the extra question i did >< sorry miss...
lend me her chemistry solution!
Facebook WORM! yes she is, everyday she post post post and comment comment comment
so rapid ! haha
very dedicate teacher, she make sure everyone understand each question after she explain on the board.
She will go round and round and round and teach and teach and teach until you understand.
Is like a must!
ahhaha, im so loving every teacher! i think every teacher did that too.
"relax, pasti bisa buat ..... "
we talked so much i dont know what to blog about her haha.



next next next is Pak Iqbal.


He is also a super funny teacher.
I remember Alison told me " eh i heard from class * that the biology teacher is dead funny"
haha and he is!
He is very good in explaining wow, he remind me of Mr Choo!
like super good in explaining.
Can remember everything without looking in the book! omg......
he let us watch "medical dragon" too haha...
too bad im not taking medic, haha but i enjoy watching it.
he shows us Chimps reproduce haha a video!
and picture of patient who have klinefelter syndrome.
A naked pic!
haha
all the guys go gaga... and then they ask.,
how about girl having extra X
... well the patient will appear like normal girl he explain.
But before he explain that, the guys asked

" Sir got picture ah?"

LOL! *let you guys reader think about this*
*capadeh capadeh....*



next and last is Bu Rugaya, 


this is our physic teacher.
Her writing is so small haha, but she is so pro!
just make use of 3 formula she solve every question!
but too bad i took pure biology instead pure physic,
So, they are flies going in and out my mouth all the time.
AND she ask me to visit  her and she will give me extra class!
haha i ajak Iswaran together, because we plan to study together one day before the exam.
Before that i went to malacca, to get my cert for the interview in University Malaya after my entrance exam.
then i forget i brought all my long pants to kl and is at Setapak.
MY GOD, lol... so i wore short pants then hurry to Miss Rugaya school.
I have some conflict haha infront of the school door,
i called her and tell her..... she answer me

" YAH AMPUN" haha

omg >< sorry my fault, cause her school and the place i live so far a distance....
and if i travel back to Setapak = not enough time to study ><
luckily i brought the interview pants >< and wore them , then only we got to go in!

too long dy this post.... lol

and i deviated so far haha.....
okok i happy cause i passed the selection exam , and only 22 people passed! yay!!!!!
worth it man, less than 4 hour sleep per day
and thanks to all lecturer,
Alison math solution, and Iswaran good teaching! haha

P.S i forget my old blog password and email, thats why i created a new blog again >< . What this is like the 5th or 6th blog haha. Sorry ><