ahhh the picture, shows everything
i wanna say i wanna express, what i see, what i feel ,
have you ever know a person long enough that you'll share anything and treated her/him like yourself?
i know i do.

i was never picked ;
no matter how hard i try , no matter how good i was.
i was never perfect as she/he appears to be.

the one always...

get what i wanted the most,
got picked on every great thing we both hope for,
got the best brains,
got the best looks,
got the perfect guy,
got the perfect job,
got everything perfect,
except the fact that i dont get everything i wanted.

Thats everything a girl would wish for,

My friends say the one is  ;

good,
pretty,
kind,
bright,

and im the one who is ;

bad,
wicked,
ugly,
stupid.

This is so unfair, and i tried and i tried and i tried and i breakdown sometimes,
tired of trying,
bored of trying,
tired of being who i am .

Not to say im not satisfy of what i have,
but i just wanted to feel special once in a lifetime.
That the one got it all the time

Because of this,
i made myself to be a perfectionist.
had become a

neurotic perfectionists 


people who are "unable to feel satisfaction because in their own eyes they never seem to do things [well] enough to warrant that feeling of satisfaction".


"people who strain compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals and who measure their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment".


my 


friends, 
family, 
everyone.


agrees that the one is always the best choice over me.
I hate this feeling, and i dont wanna to have this hindrance anymore.


I never get what i wanted, 
never achieve what i wanted, 
because the one is always there with me


everywhere i go 
everything that i do.


P.S sometimes i just dont understand that we have so much in common or the one just want to do everything i do , and to prove that she/he is better. Is it even possible that we have EVERYTHING in common. Is just like the one have some psychic power to read my mind.




and i hate having the one's dirty little black book and pouring dark little secret, when everyone thought that the one is just perfect

i couldnt reveal them, cause nobody trusted me but the one.


TC, 
xoxo.